No Other Love Like Sacrifice
by WinchesterGirl1989
Summary: Sam had said that he would go to any length to save Dean…now only a few weeks after Dean’s death, Sam decides he cannot go on without his brother and feels he must do something to get his brother out of hell. My take on how Dean returns from hell.
1. Chapter 1

_Hey guys…quick one shot that came to me while watching season 3 that I taped. Takes place between Season 3 and 4. Reviews are loved!_

_Summary: Sam had said that he would go to any length to save Dean…now only a few weeks after Dean's death, Sam decides he cannot go on without his brother and feels he must do something to get his brother out of hell._

_Disclaimer: Wish they were mine but they are just too expensive for me right now._

_No other love like Sacrifice_

Dean's been dead for two weeks, four days, and ten hours, the same amount of time my life has been in ruins. I think about him all the time and ways to still save him from eternity in hell, but every way I turn just leads to another dead end. I left Bobby about a week ago in a motel we were staying in. I could no longer stand the constant watching and hounding he threw my way, always thinking that I would do something stupid just like my father and brother had done. Although now I understand why my brother did what he did for me. Since a young age, he was told to protect me and took it upon himself to do just that, even if it killed him. As I sit here in this dingy room, where the wallpaper is cracking and falling off the wall, and the smell of smoke and mold surround me, I realize that love comes with sacrifice. My mother sacrificed her life for me, my father sacrificed his life for Dean, and Dean sacrificed his life for me. All the death and soul selling was for me. My mother died protecting me, my father knew I could not survive without Dean, and Dean knew I could live a better life than he ever could. But me, I never sacrificed anything for my family. I grew up with safety from my dad and brother, I went to college and was able to live a normal life for two years without being bothered by my family or reminded of what lurked in the shadows.

I know now that it is my time to do something for my family, even if it means that I won't get my happy ending I so desperately want and right at this moment I know not burning my brothers body was the best thing I could have done. It gives me a chance to right the wrong my existence has caused. I grab a piece of paper and write a note that explains what will happen to the man that has been there for me and treated me like family, Bobby. As I finish, the realization of what's to come finally hits me and the pen falters. Doubt floods my mind, trying to convince me that my intentions are not going to make everything better, but my Winchester stubborn streak breaks the doubt and I quickly finish the letter and put it in an envelope and send it out to Bobby. I grab some items I know I will need and head out of the room.

Turning on the Impala I sit and listen to the gentle, calming hum of the engine. Tears threaten to fall but I push them back. Weakness cannot be present in my mind, there is too much at stake. If I want to get this done right then I have to be strong. So I drive around till dark overcomes the light and reach my destination. I turn the car off, leave the keys in the ignition, and grab my cell phone. I look at the picture of Dean and I that was taken during our Prank Wars and laugh a little, those were the good times that kept me going during our never ending crusade to find Dad and mom's killer. I turn my phone off and leave it on the passenger seat and get out of the car. The only thing I carry with me is a small tin full of the required items as I make my way to the end of my line. I dig through the dirt and place my life in the hands of who ever may be watching.

Standing up I turn to face my destiny. One with a beautiful body and piercing red eyes.

"Oh Sammy it's so good to see you. Though I'm a little surprised that you didn't come a little sooner."

"I'm not here to make small talk. I want to make a deal."

"Can't say I didn't expect this. You Winchesters are all the same. But sorry Sam, I can't help you this time. There is nothing you can give me."

"Your forgetting something…I am supposed to be your leader. I have been learning for a while now how to control my powers. All I need to do now is flip that switch and I can be more powerful than anyone, and if you don't give me what I want you will be on the very top of my list to be permanently exterminated."

"You don't scare me. No one will follow you if you decide to join us anyway. You're just not our kind of leader."

The crossroads demon smiled and laughed. I knew I had to show her I meant business so I did the only thing I could think of. With a squeeze of a fist, I had her gasping for breath. I focused my mind to lighting her insides on fire and burning her from within. Her cocky attitude gave way to fear making me feel accomplished. As she struggled for breath I heard her faint voice call out for me to wait. Releasing her, I waited for her to speak.

"Alright, alright! What can you offer me?"

"You can be my second in command when I take over what is rightfully mine, and in exchange, I want my brother released from hell and his contract to be given to me. He is to return to life as he was before with no remembrance of his time spent in hell."

"Is that all?"

"No. I also want you to bring my father back and allow him to be with my brother again. Lastly, they cannot be allowed to make any deals to bring me back from what I am to become. Is it a deal?"

I stood there looking at the pathetic filth in front of me, hoping she wouldn't see through the mask I put up.

"And how do I know you're not just going to either kill me right away, or not become our leader?"

"That's just a risk you're going to have to take. But just to let you know, Winchester's always keep promises made."

"Fine, sounds like a deal."

I smirk and tremble with anticipation as I walk toward her to seal my fate. Whatever I become, I know I am doing what is right. Hunters can deal with me if I turn evil, and I won't hate or blame them because I know that it is their job to kill evil, even if it was once human. I grab her roughly and kiss her deeply while I feel the wind pick up, and just like Eva said, the switch was flipped and the power coursed through me. The demon yanked back from the kiss watching as my eyes changed to a metallic yellow. The control I had was stripped bare and I felt the intense urge to kill. Immediately I focused on the crossroads bitch in front of me and burned her alive with just a blink of an eye. Her scream echoed in my head and I finally felt content with what was done. Gradually, the power dwindled and became dormant, ready for use whenever I needed it. I felt changed, but the control over my feelings was still present, though scarcely. I walked to the Impala and opened the trunk, grabbing the gun that could end it all. It took a long time to track the colt and to get it back but it was well worth the time and pain to get it. I place the gun in the glove compartment with a small note attached to it then get in the car to return to my room hoping to catch a glimpse of what I can never have again.

I roll up to the motel, park the Impala away from the room, and get out. I walk to the room quietly and look in the window. There standing in front of me are a very confused Dean and John. The sight brings tears to my eyes, which roll down my face to land on the concrete. Dean notices the note that sits on my pillow and I know that my time to leave has come. I take one last look at my family and burn their faces into my memory knowing that this could very well be the last time I see them again. I turn and walk away from everything I've ever known and as I pass by the Impala, I run my hand along the hood and whisper a thank you to the only home I remember and hold dear to my heart. Where I will go now will not be of fun memories and love from family members. No, it will be of bone, flesh, and fear, my new home for the rest of eternity.

End

_I left the story open for more and I might continue it if you want me to. I was thinking of making the second part years after Sam makes his deal and sees Dean and John again. Tell me what you think._

_Thanks for Reading!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey everyone! Sorry I took so long to post this but I have been buisy with college work...I hope you all enjoy this! I wasn't too sure I should continue this but I love writing this story. _

_Reviews are loved!_

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No Other Love Like Sacrifice

I wander the night, thoughts scattered in my mind. It's been a while since that fateful night I embraced my destiny and brought my brother and father back from death. I think about them constantly, their love being the only thing keeping the sanity that's left in me intact. I've changed over the years both physically and mentally. My eyes now bear the eerie metallic yellow but mixed with the soft chocolate of my human half and my body can heal unnaturally when hurt. I'm no longer the soft, reasonable Sam I used to be. My powers have increased and I no longer feel the guilt of killing a human, I am a cold hearted killer that savors the feeling of fear and pain that emanates off those who cross my path. If only my family saw me now. Their disappointment in me would be present. No more understanding and comfort would be shown towards me. I still long to see them though, but I know they cannot be a part of my life anymore. What's done is done and I must live with my choice. As I walk in the woods I stop and peer up at the sky trying to understand why, if there were higher powers that were good, they didn't step in and help my family and I in our time of need. They did so much work for them; there should be some kind of help thrown their way. I know there is no hope for me but for Dean and Dad they should be protected from evil for the rest of their lives. I watch the twinkling stars with hope for the future, but as quickly as those thoughts enter my mind darkness seeps in and smothers the good with a thick blanket of ash. I shake my head and continue on my journey to find the demon I seek.

This demon has eluded me for a few weeks now and doing damage along the way. I don't care much for humans anymore, but their weak and no match for the demons trying to control this wasteland. So I hunt those trying to steal what is rightfully mine. This earth is my own hell, and I walk amongst those inhabiting the land as either one of them or a demon craving power. This demon is a thorn in my side that needs to be taken care of and I'm heading to a town in Pennsylvania called Bear Swamp where I know he is currently located. I know I'm close from the smell he gives off. The smell of false power and the knowledge of being followed is becoming stronger and stronger as I walk. He knows that he is being followed but surprisingly shows no fear. Anxiety floods my body and I shiver and smile to myself. Nothing has ever been this casual when being hunted by me and I feel this fight will be more exciting than all of the other weaklings I've killed.

I get to a clearing and stop. He's here and watching, studying me, determining if I am as powerful as I seem. I glance around and take in my surroundings, deciding that he will only show his self if I call out to him.

"I know you're here. Show yourself!" I hear rustling and the fight inside me bubbles, causing my emotions to give way and disappear. An average size man walks towards me with a knife in his hand.

"So you're the one following me huh? I'm sorry to say you look like a skinny little kid with nothing to show other than those trivial powers even lower level demons possess."

I laugh inside and just grin at him. This is going to be fun indeed. "Well if I'm so weak why have you kept running from me?"

"I was just seeing if you would get tired of tracking me and move on. But apparently that's just not how you are Sam Winchester. The others were right about you and I'm glad for that since killing you will be all the more better. Before I kill you though, I just want to ask you why you just don't become our leader and help us shape the earth into our own kingdom and help us rule?"

Never before have I been asked that. I wouldn't normally answer to something lower than myself, but since I'm in a good mood I decide to enlighten him on who I truly am. "I don't want you pathetic demons trying to help me rule. Your worthless creatures that should stay in hell. This is my land and I will not be sharing it with anyone."

He laughs at me and quickly throws me across the clearing with a flick of a hand. I cushion my landing and immediately bound across the clearing, holding him in place with my telekinesis. I tackle him to the ground and start throwing the punches. He struggles to move and manages to combine his energy to get his knife hand free, plunging the knife into my side. I release him and roll away to stand. There is pain but it just fuels me to fight more. I glance down and see the skin start to knit itself back together. Once healed I look back at my foe and decide to practice my new skill. I close my eyes and concentrate on the space behind the demon. Within a second I open my eyes to find myself standing behind him. I grabbed his head and twist with enough power to decapitate him. As the black smoke tries to escape I create a ball of fire around him, burning it till there is nothing left. I feel exhilarated at the fresh kill and let my mind settle down to a calm state. Blood is everywhere, painting the wilderness with shimmering reflections from the moon. Finally I can relax and decide to leave the body and head into town to check out the small town and all the people who live there.

I walk for a few miles before reaching the town. It's small with only one motel and bar, perfect for staying under the radar. I check into the motel and quickly head to the bathroom to shower off the blood that hides beneath my coat. The red tinged water flows down the drain, washing away the dirty deed I committed. I sigh realizing that every time I give into my other side, the small part of me that cares continues to die and chip away, making me less of a human than before. I turn off the now cool water and stand in front of the mirror. My face is hard and cold, but my eyes still contain a sadness at what I have become. My thoughts go back to Dean and John. I think about all the happy times together and their smiling faces. While my thoughts run I feel moisture on my cheeks and touch it with my fingers. Tears are present and I frown at how there could still be emotions left inside me to cause such weakness. Disgusted, I turn away, get dressed, and head out to the bar.

As I near the bar I sense a presence I haven't felt in years and could only have wished to have felt again. An uncomfortable feeling settles in my stomach as I enter the bar and search around to find the human responsible for these feelings. As I glance to the corner of the bar I see two men enjoying their beer. They seem familiar yet unknown, like I knew them in some other life. Shrugging I sit at the bar and order a beer. As I talk to the bartender I hear a voice that startles me and my stomach does flip flops. Hope sears my senses and I turn to the voice. That's when everything over the years disappears and I feel like my old self again. The two men in the corner are of those I remember from the past. The light in my darkness, the ones I gave up my humanity to save so long ago. Dean and John sit talking with papers scattered on the table. I tremble and find it hard to breathe as I just look and watch from a distance. My self control shatters and I find myself heading their direction. I hear them talking about something killing other demons and people, trying to find a pattern and determine what it is that they are hunting. I take a seat near their table and listen, taking notice of the locations and people killed over the past few months. Then suddenly I realize that the locations were of places I visited and my heart drops as I realize I'm the one they are hunting. I gasp and get up so fast I knock over a chair. Not bothering to pick it up I try to run as fast as I can to the exit. Reaching the door I hear one word I thought I would never hear again…Sammy.

To be continued...

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_So tell me what you think...I am so into this story that I will continue soon! _

_Review Please_


	3. Chapter 3

_Hey everyone I'm back with another chapter. Thanks everyone who is still sticking with me on this story. I love this story and can't wait to keep writing. Here you go...let me know what you think._

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I heard my name being called, but I kept walking, hoping they would think they make a mistake. My heart thundered in my ears, walls were closing in, my breath quickening as I tried to get outside as fast as I could. Sensing them still following me and getting closer as the seconds ticked by, I continued to pick up the pace. I reached the door and I pushed it open and escaped into the crisp night. I kept walking towards the woods thinking that they wouldn't follow until I was a little ways into the shadows. Slowing my pace, I tried to settle my racing thoughts, taking deep breaths trying to calm the flutter in my stomach. I sat on the ground and found support from a large tree that looked so old and lively as the tears trickled down my cheek. Seeing my family again was a feeling of true happiness that I thought I could never feel again. I realize how much I missed them and need them and begin to think that just maybe I could be with them. But I don't think my family would accept me anymore. Being too caught up in my thoughts had lowered my defenses enough for me to not realize that someone was approaching. I thought about scaring them off and maybe leaving my mark in their memories, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I have wanted this for so long that I couldn't just give up my chance at being whole again.

As the two people draw closer my heart begins beating out of pure joy and I start smiling. I look up and see the moon shining and the dark woods are no longer drenched in solid black and smelling of death. Everything seems to be coming alive right before my eyes. I hear the bugs singing their nightly song, the soft whispers of the wind and rustling of the leaves, and the landscape is painted with the almost heavenly light of the moon, which shines on the path the two people are walking on to reach me. It's funny how these two can make the good part of me come out. As I relish in the life surrounding me, I feel the familiar tickling in the back of my mind alerting me of my other half. These feelings are making it sick and the evil wants to put a stop to my weakness, but I want to hold on just a little bit longer just so I can see them again, even if it just for a short while. There here and I think I might just burst with anticipation and I look straight ahead and see them coming into the small clearing I am in. They stop about ten feet from me, directly in the path of the light and I finally get to see their faces and hear my brother utter the name that brings me back in time.

"Sammy."

I barely gain my voice and manage to whisper, "Hey Dean, hey Dad."

"Son, what…where…"

To see my dad all choked up is odd. He has always been a hard man; one who took the lessons learned in the military and used them to raise two small children when he could hardly keep himself together. More tears fell down my face and I could care less who saw them or if I looked weak. I gathered my legs beneath me and pushed up off the ground to stand up. I met Dean's eyes and walked to meet him, giving him a hug that released so much built up tension inside me that I nearly broke down. Drawing back, I then moved to my father whose eyes were glistening with moisture, and hugged him with everything I had left. It had been too long since I talked to either of them, but with my dad, I felt I needed to really make up for all the times I never showed him how much I loved him or appreciated him. I feel him pull me in tighter and I give into him, taking in their love like it could redeem me. After a while we separate and I step back to get a good look at them, and there is so much I want to say but nothing comes out, but just like he always does, Dean breaks the silence.

"Sam we missed you. What happened to you and what happened four years ago when suddenly dad and I were in the same room again after he was dead and I was supposed to be in the pit?"

"Guys I'm so sorry for everything, I decided to fix everything bad that happened because of me. For once I was given a chance to sacrifice something for the people I loved and because of that you both are alive and together again. Dean, you can have your chance at being with dad again. But I can't be part of that; I am no longer the person I used to be. It's not safe being around me anymore. I can't even trust myself let alone trust myself with the two of you."

"Sam what are you talking about? Dean and I have been looking for you for so long and now you say you can't stay? Sammy…I…I can't have you leave again. Dean and I need you with us. It doesn't matter if you have changed because so have I. Hell has changed me and I know I was not a good father to you both and that separating from you was a bad idea, but I know that now and we are going to stick together and you are going to tell us what happened and how I got back here and how Dean was released of his deal."

"No! You don't want to see who I have become. I am not even sure you would want me around if you knew. It's just that I am unpredictable now and dangerous to everything around me. It is better if we just spend some time together and then go our separate ways."

"Sam that's ridiculous. You are still my brother, the one I trust my life with, you would never hurt us. I know that!"

"Oh really Dean? Are you so sure about that? If you only knew wha…did you hear that?"

"Hear what son?"

"Just quiet for a second." I could feel something near us, something not quite human. Channeling my concentration, I felt around us and out into the woods. What I felt was bad. About five demons were closing in on us and their leader was of something I have never met before. Sadness swept over me as I realized I would have to show my family who I truly was now. I turned to them in order to let them know what would happen in the next few minutes.

"There are about five demons coming to us. They know we are here and want to get there grubby little pathetic hands on me. I won't let them hurt you, but if it gets out of hand I want you both out of here fast. This is important and I need you to leave, even if it's only me left."

"No Sam, I am not loosing you again!"

"Dean you will go with dad and leave. Don't make me make you leave…I don't want to hurt you. Now stay near me and be ready."

As I turn back to where I know the demons will appear I draw into my mind and bring forth the powers within me. But along with it comes my alternate personality. Once again I feel the excitement at the prospect of a fight and begin to get antsy. My limbs tremble with power and anticipation, my eyes close, and my fists clench tight at my side. Everything around me stands still as I prepare and once the demons enter the clearing I open my eyes and grin. My yellow eyes are gleaming in the night, focused on the fight, and I wait for them to make the first move. I chuckle like a crazy person and can almost taste the blood in the air as I let loose my other side and suppress my emotions.

"Let the games begin!"

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_Ok guys what do you think? Please Review it helps me write! :)_


	4. Chapter 4

_Alright guys here is the next chapter...I think its pretty good. Hahaha But sorry about the long wait...It is final exam time and studying is my main priority right now._

_Hope you enjoy!_

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No Other Love Like Sacrifice

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the Winchester family back together again. It brings tears to my eyes. Samuel, you should not have brought them here, but I'm glad you did because now I get to finish off all three of you and have each of you watch the other suffer."

I shiver at his words and my heart quickens. Anger begins pooling deep within me and my body jumps with the intoxicating power that rushes through my blood.

"Leave them out of this. I'm the one you seem to have a problem with so let's focus on me and not them."

"Sammy, you know I can't do that. If they are with you then they are fair game."

He laughs loudly into the night, scaring away the smaller creatures of the woods. I feel Dean and John shift and advance behind me, tensing for the impending fight. For a moment I become nervous because I now have to focus on the demons and keeping my family safe. I push a "Don't" through my clenched teeth in warning to them and it comes out in a growl. I glance back at them hoping to silently warn them to keep back forgetting that my face no longer bears the softness of my human half. Their eyes widen and I see the confused and scared expression on their faces. I turn back to the demon and decide that it's just best to get this over with so I can explain what happened all the years ago.

"So it's a fight you want huh? Well then bring it assholes."

The demon smiles and nods to his partners. They advance on us and I instinctively step closer to Dean and John in a protective stance. I draw in my power and fling the first two demons into the nearby trees. I run towards the others and begin the fight withdrawing a knife from my waist band and starting with the hand to hand combat. I stab the first and run him into a tree, quickly turning around to mentally stop the other. I grab him by the throat and squeeze with everything I have, feeling his trachea collapse and the vessels burst. He struggles in my grasp but I concentrate my mind, dragging him out of the body and when the black smoke begins seeping out I force it through the ground and back into hell. Without pausing I turn back to the first and ram my hand through his abdomen and tear out his inside. The body falls to the ground and before the demon can escape I use my mind to engulf the body in flames and let it burn until there is nothing left.

By now I am shivering with excitement and laughing at how good fighting feels. It's like a toxin that floods my system with the pure need to kill and inflict pain. As I relish in the feeling, I hear a grunt followed by a muffled, pained groan and I turn back to see the other two demons fighting with my brother and father. Dean has been tossed into a tree and is being held by an invisible force while John is holding his own with the other. Something switches in my head and I feel extreme rage burn within me. A new and more ferocious power becomes active at seeing my family in danger. I close my eyes and reappear behind the demon that's holding Dean and grabbing him by the shoulder, twisting until he is facing me.

"Don't you ever touch him!" I yell as I spin him and toss him into the other demon near John. I run focus on their essence inside the host and drag them out of the bodies they inhabit and send them back to hell. With so much power being used my head begins to throb. But before I can do anything I hear Dean yell my name. I turn just in time to get a bullet through the chest. The leader had picked up Dean's gun of the ground and shot me before I could even do anything. The air is lost to me and I grasp at my chest, trying to see the wound. Blood is running down by torso and saturating my shirt. I have used too much of my abilities that my body is having a hard time healing itself, but determination makes itself known and I look up at the demon and start walking towards him. He shots two more times before I reach him. I'm dizzy with pain and blood loss, but I must protect my family. I focus my remaining energy on holding the demon in place and grab his head. I stare into his eyes and begin entering his mind, but I only get so far. He is stronger than I thought and I can't hold on in my weakened state. Before I let go I set damage to the demon hiding in the human's mind, I have only hurt him and before I know it, I am shoved out of his mind and thrown across the clearing, landing hard.

"This isn't over Winchester."

I look up to see the smoke disappear into the night sky. Finally, my body gets the chance to relax and my head falls back down. Aches and pains blanket my body, the bullet wounds continue to bleed at an alarming rate, my breathing stutters, and my heart skips a beat. I can feel the wounds begin to heal but it's not fast enough. My mind is screaming from the taxing effect that both the wounds and being over used has caused, but I'm surprised that I don't feel quite the same ways I used to. My feelings of hate have been replaced with protection and warmth, my cold black heart beats normally, and I don't feel the despair I usually feel. The only thing that I feel at this point is uncontrolled love and care. I feel safe and free, not chained down with a burden I was not able to handle. But all too quickly my body shudders from the chilly air and becomes lax. I turn my head and see John attending to Dean and I smile. This is how I had wanted things to be and how it always should have been, John and Dean together doing what they do best. I groan and turn back to the starry sky, wondering if we are really being looked after by some higher power. The stars twinkle brilliantly and sooth my mind, the moon still brightly shinning on us, making everything seem better. My eyes start to close as I feel a hand on my shoulder, the soft nature of the touch makes the pain subside and I try to open my eyes to look at the people I would risk anything for.

"That's it Sammy open those eyes. Come on you need to stay awake."

Dean's voice dances through my thoughts and gives me even more reason to open my eyes. My sight flickers as I open them and in front of me are the two people I love above all else. The soft glow from the moon shines behind them making it look like they were a heavenly presence, my guardian angels. I want to speak but I have no reserves left to call upon so I settle for a smile and mouth a sorry. The feel of hands over my body causes pain to shoot through me and I groan, trying to arch away from the pain.

"It's alright Sam, we just need to see how bad it is. Dad?"

"We can't fix this Dean, he needs a hospital. It's weird, the wounds seem to have started healing already, but he lost a lot of blood and he is still hemorrhaging."

I gasp again as he applies pressure on my chest, gathering my reserves to tell them that I can't go to any hospital because of what they might find in my blood. I haven't been to a hospital since the transformation and I'm not quite sure if my blood still has the qualities of human blood. As I try to speak, I realize I can't catch my breath. The bullet must have nicked my lung and caused it to slowly collapse. The lack of air causes my body to involuntarily struggle as it tries to gain oxygen.

"Sam relax, just relax."

Dean sees the wild and crazy look in my eyes and notices at once what the problem is.

"Shit…Dad I think he is having trouble breathing. We need to get him help now."

"Alright, Dean I will run ahead and get the car, you get him out to the edge of the woods."

"Hurry, I don't think he has much time left."

By now I can barely hear their voices. It startles me knowing that I'm slipping faster than I thought. I feel a set of hands under my arms and knees, hear the grunt my brother lets slip under the extra strain of weight, but I also feel his determination to save me emanating off of his body. I trust him with my life and if he will fight for me, then I will fight to stay alive. Not too long ago I would have given into the sweet, addicting peacefulness of death, but I understand now that I have something to live for. I don't know how long it has taken to get to the car but I feel myself being gently laid into the back seat and Dean slip in next to me. The smell of gun powder and home attacks my senses. A lone tear slips down my face to fall onto the leather seat. I feel my chest tightening up, but it's not from my emotions, my lungs no longer want to expand and my heart begins beating erratically, trying to keep my body working, but it's a useless attempt at surviving. My eyes completely close and my body relaxes as I try and fight to stay awake, for I fear that if I give into the darkness I may never wake again, but my will fails me and I feel myself slip into the void hearing Dean's panicked voice before all goes deathly quiet.

"Dad he stopped breathing, step on it! Sammy? No don't you do this to me, not now. Sam!"

_to be continued_

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_Please Review and let me know what you think...I'm still lovin this story so ill keep writing if you want me to._

_Ill update soon!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Here's another update...hope you like! Please review. Sorry it took me a while to get this one done. Ill try to update faster._

_Disclaimer: I looked everywhere under the tree and still nothing._

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No Other Love Like Sacrifice

The feeling of weightlessness floods my body. I'm not sure where I am or what happened, but I think I might not have survived the battle since I feel no pain. I try to move my body, open my eyes, even speak, but I can't feel anything. I start to panic as I realize I am not in control anymore. I try to scream but there are no sounds coming from me, trying relentlessly to bring some sort of reaction from my body. Then I felt some feeling on my arm, perhaps someone is trying to grab me. Then there is tugging and I start to fight but they are strong and suddenly my feeling comes back to me and there is extreme heat and pain. Nothing I have ever felt before has been this intense and I work hard to open my eyes. When finally, sight returns to me, I wish I had never opened them. Walls that seem never ending are sliding by me, but it isn't the enormity of the walls that scares me, what they are made of is what disturbs me. Faces of people seem stuck in the walls with bones framing their frightened faces, the walls ooze bright red blood, and the stench of rotting flesh fills the air. I gasp and feel an extra hard tug on my arm and when I look up at who is dragging me along the floor I am shocked at what I see. What looks like a human man with flesh falling off his body is dragging me off to some place I know in my gut will not make me happy. The man is so strong that my attempts to gain freedom fail miserably and before I know it, I am in a room being hoisted up by my arms and left by myself. Time passes unknowingly, when a deep growling meets my ear. Turning my head, I notice two black dogs, muzzles dripping with saliva, slowly making their way towards me. My breathing turns rapid as I once again panic, time slows as the two dogs leap toward me and everything disappears, leaving me with the feeling of claws tearing through my chest and teeth ripping my flesh. As I fall deep into darkness I finally realize that I have died and gone to hell.

The next thing I know, my eyes are shooting open as I try to take in air. Feeling rushes through my body and I feel the hand on my arm again. I thrash wildly, trying to prevent myself from being dragged away again, but as I fight I hear a soothing voice reassuring me that everything is fine and I'm ok. I turn my head to the voice, searching for someone, and my eyes meet the soft green eyes of my brother. A calming feeling comes over me and I feel my body relax.

"Sam, hey your ok just calm down. We are at the hospital. Sam, do you remember what happened?"

I look at my brother and turn my head to see my dad looking at me from a chair next to my bed. I know exactly what happened in the woods and after I fell unconscious. My throat closes up and suddenly I'm scared and angry at the same time. I'm scared of what Dean and John will think of me, but also angry at myself for believing I could be with them again without any consequences. They are both staring at me, waiting for my answer but I can't take how they are looking at me so I turn away and close my eyes, trying to gain some control over my thoughts.

"Sam, we need to know what's going on. What have you done?"

"Dad…"

"Dean, we need to know. This isn't something we can just forget about and move on."

"He is still hurt and needs to stay relaxed. We almost lost him."

I start to get aggravated over their bickering. They act like I'm not even in the room and I cannot tolerate that right now. So I make my decision to give them what they want and let them know who I really am now.

"You already lost me Dean. Four years ago the Sammy you knew died when you went to hell. You were dead for almost three weeks and I couldn't do anything about it, until I realized that I was the one who got all of us into this mess, even if I never intended for it to happen. I couldn't live without you Dean so I did the only thing I could do and that was to save you and dad. Dean, you can hunt with dad now and be together again, but I can't be a part of that ever."

I look at them now, only to find confusion painted across their faces. But deep within that confusion is fear. They don't know that I can see it, but I know they are a little afraid of me and I don't blame them.

"You need to tell us everything Sam. Are you even human anymore?"

"No, I'm not 100 percent human anymore. My destiny has been sealed and I am now who I was meant to be. When you died Dean, I only lasted a little while before I felt myself crumbling. I just couldn't deal with the fact that everyone I ever loved died because of me. So I did what every other Winchester in our family did and made a deal. But it wasn't my soul to bring you two back. Instead it was for Dean to come back alive with no remembrance of hell and for dad to be alive so you can be together. In return I was to embrace my destiny and become their boy king and give the crossroads demon rights to be my second in command. Of course, being a Winchester, siding with demons just isn't our thing. So I did give into my powers, but in turn killed her. I left you the note and sent one to Bobby, along with the colt being left in the glove compartment for your use in case I ever showed up and needed to be stopped. Then I took off to get as far away from you as I could. Azazel was right, I am so powerful that I can do whatever I want, and I don't hold back like I used to. When I give into it, everything feels right. I had nothing to hold me back anymore and I never let anyone get in my way. But that was before I saw you two again. Now I'm confused as to who I am. When I saw you at the bar all I wanted to do was talk to you, but then I heard the details about your hunt and I fled. I'm the one you're hunting."

I look down at my hands and all the tubes coming from my body. I realize I came very close to dying that night, and now I know exactly where I am headed. In a way I had always known that I would be going to hell, I just didn't want to believe that after all the hunting and saving people that I would end up there. But that is my destiny right? I was where I belong, in a place of never ending pain and fear, strung up like a piece of meat, available to all those I had sent to hell or killed in my lifetime.

"How could you Sam? After everything we did to save you from going down that road, you throw it back in our faces and just give in to become one of them. Didn't you think that Dad and I would be angry and upset with what you did?"

"I'm sorry, but it was my only choice. "

"You know that's not true! Moving on is what you should have done. You could have continued hunting or stopped and gone back to where you were before I came and dragged you away. A wife and kids is what you should have. Not this shit. You were the best of us, always seeing past this life and seeing a future. This choice you made was selfish and foolish. I told you that everything thing that has happened isn't your fault."

"It is my fault Dean! Mom died protecting me in my own room, Jess died because she loved me and the demon didn't want her to keep me from becoming his soldier, Dad knew I needed you and that he and I could never get along without you, so he gave his soul to keep you alive. Then to finish it all off, I died and you in turn sold your soul to bring me back. Everything comes back to my existence and do not stand their telling me otherwise. I'm not a child that can be fooled anymore!"

By now I'm angry, to the point that I'm barley hanging on to my self control. My fists are clenching and my breath is increasing. The power is beginning to bubble and I know my eyes have the dangerous look in them. I have to get out of this hospital and away from these people around me. I start to pull out the various tubes lying hidden under my skin, also pulling off the sensors keeping track of my vitals. Alarms are sounding but I just don't care, freedom is calling me. I feel hands on my shoulders and they push me down on the bed, bringing panic to the surface.

"No! Get off me!"

"Son, calm down. We are just talking, not accusing. You are still hurt and need to rest, please Sam, just be calm."

My struggle continues but his voice is soothing. He doesn't understand that my wounds are no longer life threatening. In fact, they are pretty much healed; just a tiny pull from the scabs and stitches is present. My mind has recuperated and kicked into gear, fixing the damage left by the bullets. The knowledge of my healing makes me stop struggling. I can't bring attention to my miraculous healing. That will only bring questions and tests from doctors with no understanding of the supernatural world. So I stop and take a deep breath to calm my mind and look at John, still holding me down with his faces just inches from mine.

"I'm ok now. We just need to get out of here fast."

"Why? As I said before, you almost died from your wounds and they need healing."

"Just so you know I did die, I remember, and my wounds are almost healed. One of the many powers I have. Take a look if you want, but we really don't have time, unless we want to go through some serious questioning from these idiots."

My dad nods and I look to where Dean is standing. He's angry with me and I know he wants to say something, but one look from John and he is grabbing my clothes from the closet while my dad tries to silence the machines to buy more time. I quickly throw on my clothes and stand up. Quickly and quietly we head out of my room and towards the elevator. Once in the parking lot, I follow them to the Impala and get in. I sit back and close my eyes clearing my thoughts. I hear my dad make a phone call to Bobby saying we are headed to his place to see if they can figure out something to change what has happened to me, but before I can object he ends the call and tells me to get some rest. I comply and immediately sink into darkness hoping to find some peace as we head to the person I feared seeing again. With knowledge that there is no way to truly save me, I end my connection to the word and enter my own personal abyss.

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_I'm still writing and I'm not sure when I should end this but it wont be for a while if everyone likes the story. Review!_


	6. Chapter 6

_Hey everyone! Sorry for the long wait, this semester has been killer. Im on campus 12 hrs a day and its wiping me out...I thought I posted this but it looks like I didnt. Im soooo sorry. Im going to write a couple more chaps to this story right now. I still don't know how I am going to end this story, there are just too many outcomes that I can do so I would love to hear your imput. Give me some ideas guys! Thanks and sorry once again._

Disclaimer: Still not mine :(

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My time of rest is nothing close to being peaceful. Nightmares smother my hopeful dreams leaving me distressed and panting. I startle awake in the car only to notice that we have stopped somewhere. Looking around I realize my brother must have gotten hungry and I chuckle with the knowledge because when is Dean ever not hungry? I sigh while opening the door, choosing to stretch my legs a bit and maybe work my mind with some simple tricks. I feel pent up energy that I wouldn't normally feel if I was still out hunting and it's like going through detox. I walk around and notice a group of people talking not too far from the car and head over to them. As I walk, I think if something to do that will challenge my mind. When I reach them I tell them that they will do whatever I say with whomever I choose. Their eyes become glazed and they automatically nod like I knew they would. I immediately come up with a hilarious idea and give the guys their instructions, and without a moment's hesitation they set about doing what they were told. I turn and watch them work smiling at how easy it is to change free will. The task has helped ease the twitchy excitement that my head was filled with. Sometimes I think that a herd of wild horses is running rampant in my head, untamed and free with no boundaries to cage them in. As I take in the scene I feel Dean and John walking towards me and I just keep watching the group work.

"Sam, why the hell are those kids touching my car?"

"Figured the Impala needed some detailing and I needed to do something, so I told them to make your baby shine."

"And they just did it huh? Without any payment or objections?"

"Well they did need some persuasion…of the mental kind of course." I laugh and turn to look at them and not liking what I see.

"Dammit Sam, this isn't a game. You can't just be making random people do what you want. It's not right. Not normal."

"When are you going to understand that I'm not normal Dean? You can't ignore the fact that I've changed and I will never be the same again. And you're wrong about it not being a game because it is to me. I am the god looking down on earth, bending things to my liking and the people are just the game pieces. Dispensable and worthless."

"Sam, Dean's right. You can't be doing these things anymore. Hunters are going to be drawn to you and they won't listen to reason. They will kill you."

"I don't care what other hunters try to do. They're nothing to me, just little ants that need squashing if they get in my way."

"This isn't you talking Sam. Don't worry though because we are going to fix this."

"Sorry to burst your bubble guys but you can't fix something that doesn't need fixing."

With that I turn and head back to the car, telling the kids that they were done and should go back home. They scurried away and I got inside, waiting for the two to come back so we could continue on our journey. I didn't have to wait long either because soon the doors squeaked shut and we were pulling out back onto the interstate.

We continued to drive for hours. I watched the blur of trees pass by as we wind our way along a wooded highway. I know we are cruising at a very high speed because the trees are seemingly blending into one big blur, kind of like the thoughts in my head that I'm trying to understand. When I told Dean and John that I'm confused about who I am, I was almost telling the truth. In a way I know the old Sam is still around, waiting for the chance to break free. But I also know that my evil half is still strong enough that I still feel the need to hunt and seek power. I really want to find that demon that escaped me in the woods and tear him to shreds, put him back together, then do it all over again. After what he did to my family and me, it's the least he deserves. Even though the fight didn't turn out the way I thought it would, he is obviously a worthy opponent, and I want to regain the thrill of ending the lives of those who get in my way. But my feelings are changing with the wind. Being with my family again has lead to my want of stability and love that only my family can bring me. I want to do the right thing and show them that I can control myself, but with all the years of getting used to the beast inside me, my goal looks impossible to reach. Like there is a small little orb of light that contains my soul, sitting at the end of a never ending tunnel and no matter how long and fast I run it just floats further and further away. The distance is starting to become painful too because I know the further it gets, the rope attaching my body to my soul is becoming so stretched out that soon it will snap and all hope of keeping the beast at bay will be gone.

I guess time flew by while I was caught up in my truthful explanation to myself, because I notice that we are driving down Bobby's driveway. I jerk my head around, taking in my surroundings as my heart speeds up to the point where it's going to bust out of my chest. Closing my eyes, taking a deep breath, I calm the flutter in my stomach as the car stops and the doors open. Even when I know they are waiting for me, I continue to take time to release my energy. It's inevitable that I need to face Bobby, so I open my eyes, open the door with a sigh, and step out into the fresh air. The three of them are standing together looking at me, staring at me. Their eyes bore into me and it aggravates me, so I glare at them and speak my mind.

"Do you mind not staring at me like I'm a bomb waiting to explode? If I wanted to do something like that, we wouldn't even be here right now."

"Hey Sam, long time no see."

"Yea well I was busy. I needed to stake my claim on this world."

"Don't try and seem tough boy, your attitude isn't reaching your eyes. It's good to see you."

And with that he walked up to me and wrapped his arms around me. I tensed at first, forgetting that I was supposed to be returning the gesture, but then I relaxed and grabbed him in a hug. I whispered my apologies in his ear hoping to regain his friendship, telling him I only ran because I considered him family and didn't want him to get hurt. He clapped my back and steeped away. I looked into his eyes searching for something that would give away his thoughts and found only sadness and understanding.

"Sam, you will always be my family and no matter what you do, nothing will ever change that you understand?"

"Yea Bobby…thanks."

"Not a problem. So I hear you have gotten yourself into a bit of trouble. You Winchesters are gonna make me go crazy before my time. Well what are you just standing there for; let's go save your ass"

He smirked at me and turned around, walking back to the house as John and Dean followed. I watched them go and leaned back against the car. I ran my hand through my car then rubbed at my eyes. This was too much to handle, too much to remember, and too much all at once. I slid down till I was sitting and laid my head against my knees, hoping to round up my emotions. The idea of just leaving them right now raced through my head, but I couldn't do that to them. They want to help me so much and I want to make them happy. So I decide that if they can't help me or danger will come to them if they try, then I will leave and never show my face again. It will be like I never existed and perhaps I will permanently erase it. That's something I have always considered but could never go through with. I hear footsteps and they are headed toward me. They sit down next to me, not saying anything, just acting as a presence. I sense that its Dean worried that I didn't go to the house with them.

"What's going through that head of yours bro?"

"Nothing Dean, just calming my nerves. You should be inside, I won't run or anything so you don't have to worry."

"I trust you Sam, and don't tell me I shouldn't because I always have and always will. We can figure this out; just don't use those freaky powers of yours. Ever again. Can you promise me that?"

"I can't make promises that I know I won't keep. That's something you and Dad taught me."

"Sam please, I couldn't stand it if…if something bad happened to you."

"Too late for that Dean. Come on, let's not keep them waiting."

I end the conversation before I say anything that would give him hope. He needs to understand that I'm not going to be able to get out of this situation. It was my choice and I wouldn't change a thing. I walk towards the house with the feeling of lead weighing down my feet and despair filling my chest. It's time to finally face the idea that Sam may never gain control over the darkness that's inside and will wither away and die, leaving an empty shell available to monster to take over and destroy all that's good left in the world.

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_Reviews!_


	7. Chapter 7

_Hey everyone. Sorry about the wait, finals were crazy and long. I am out of school for the summer so I will be writing more often. I hope this chapter makes you happy, It was a little hard to write. Please let me know what you think...ENJOY!! :)_

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Several hours have passed since beginning the search to save my life. So far we have just hit dead ends. Bobby has been on the phone nonstop talking to people about a hypothetical situation and both Dean and John have their faces stuffed in books and a cup of coffee in hand. I have been reading some books too, but instead of helping myself, I'm looking for that demon from the clearing and any information I can find on him. So far I know he is a higher level demon, one of the highest ones up there. I could see and feel it in his mind as I tried to kill him. I'm concerned about how strong he was and why was he able to pick up the gun and shot me before I realized what happened. I look over at my family all lost in their own minds, pain obviously etched on their faces. I need a break from all this and no better place than a junk yard. Maybe I can even work on some of my powers, keep myself sharp without them knowing. I stand up and head to the back door, my pace quickening at the idea of getting away from the problems.

"Sam, where are you going?"

"To clear my mind Dean, chill out alright. My eyes hurt from reading and my mind feels like it's going to burst. I'll just be out back for a bit."

"Fine Sam, just don't go far."

I turn back and leave with a huff. How can they think to treat me like a child? I'm not some dog that needs to be tied up out back to keep it from running off. I walk deep into the busted cars and parts only stopping once I'm far enough from the house to keep them from hearing me. I sit crossed legged and close my eyes, thinking about the recent changes in my attitude and mind. I feel at home here with Dean and John, even Bobby. But I know that it won't last because I can already feel the demon inside fighting for control. I've been suppressing it since being with the people I love but it's getting harder each day. Sometimes I find myself shaking because of the pressure building inside and it's starting to really scare me. I suddenly find myself asking the question, _When will I completely lose control and kill everyone who gets in my way?_ I take a deep breath and clear my head before more disturbing thoughts can enter my mind and focus on my surroundings. I try to identify everything around me and picture it all in my head. Once I feel everything, a very vivid picture is painted in my consciousness. I focus even harder and begin picking up everything around me, spinning around me and rearranging the cars and stacking them on top of each other. There is a gasping sound near me but I don't let it break my concentration because if this were a real fight with real demons, one tiny distraction can cause me my life. I open my eyes and start lighting various cars on fire and crushing others into tiny cube pieces then adding them to the flames. After all the metal is in the pyre, I start bending the flame to create shapes, separate them into several flames, or panning them out along the ground to spread across the land. Finally, I end the show and breathe deeply, gathering as much oxygen as I can and turn to look at my visitors. I would be lying if I told you I was surprised at their reactions, instead I was amused and found myself laughing so hard that tears started forming. I haven't laughed so hard in years and it makes me feel so light and carefree.

"Guys, can you please pick your jaws up off the ground and say something." I'm gasping because of the laughter and see Dean assemble himself and begin to open his mouth.

"Sam…that was…wow."

"Thanks Dean, but that's not the only thing I can do. As you saw when we encountered that demon."

"You know that fire thing could come in handy when hunting."

I laugh again and smile at Dean. I really do miss my family, it's just I am not their little Sammy anymore and they need to realize that before something happens. I gather my legs under me and stand to face them. John looks ready to lecture while Bobby is just shocked. Just when I was going to break the silence, Bobby's dog started barking, alerting them all to impending danger.

"Bobby, please tell me your pooch is just looking for a bone to chew on."

"He only ever barks when something dangerous is around Dean. I say we get back to the house and get us some weapons then figure out what may be lerking around out here."

As we turn around, there standing before us are a group of people. I take notice to each one and quickly realize they are all possessed. But that isn't what has my attention. No, it's the person standing at the head of the group that catches my eye. I can't help the tremors that wrack my body when I realize that this is the demon from the woods. He smiles at me, happy to rouse a reaction from me. At that moment I feel the familiar power start its path through my system and start walking ahead of my family. I won't let anyone get hurt just because I couldn't keep my selfishness buried deep in my mind.

"Well isn't this nice. Looks like you have everyone together Sam. That will make this so much easier. I see you have recovered from our last meeting, making this fight so much more worth the time it took to find you."

"Leave them out of this you son of a bitch. I can't tell you how much I have been looking forward to meeting you again. You're a hard demon to find information on let alone find. How about making this a fight between just you and me. See who the best man is."

"Oh Sam, you should know that I am more powerful than you. You see, I'm not like other demons you've encountered. I am a leader, a general you might say, only with more power and virtually no one to answer to. The only one I answer to is someone that every human has heard of and fears. I am so powerful that I am in charge of more demon armies than you can count."

"Who are you?"

"The name I am most associated with is Aaron. You should all know who my father is by now."

My breath is sucked out of my body at the knowledge of who exactly is standing before me. How could this be true? Why does he want me so bad? I don't even know if I can survive this battle anymore as Sam Winchester. I never told Dean or John that if I totally give into my dark side, I am virtually indestructible. But with that advantage comes the bad. I will not be Sam anymore, just a crazed up, power hungry demon boy and I am not so sure I could ever come back from that.

"You're the son of Satan."

"Wow Sammy, you are as smart as they say you are."

"What are you doing here? What do you want?"

"Ah that is the million dollar question. I want you out of the picture Sam, no longer a threat to me and my lands. Azazel seemed to be telling the truth about your promising future. He worked hard to pave the path for you to become who you are today. You sure would have made him proud; after all, you were always his favorite."

"You won't be getting my son, none of you will."

"John, how many more years will it take for you to understand that we always get our way. We wanted the Winchesters dead and we had Dean many times, he just wouldn't stay dead. Then we wanted your soul and you just handed it over to us, gotta say that made me pretty happy. Then Sam died leaving Dean to be picked apart by the idea of him being alone in this world. The only problem there was that Sam managed to get himself in the good lord's grace. But still, that was two Winchesters down with only one left. Then Dean sold his soul and the prospect of having both of you down in the pit was more than we could handle. And in doing so, that brought Sam back to face being alone and pushing him to a future of dying and going to hell, giving us all three of you. But then everything got screwed up when Sam traded his humanity for you to be free from hell and decided that this world was his for the taking. Your very first mistake was thinking you could ever stop us."

"Alright, enough with the analyzing of our family. Personally, I think you talk too much."

"Are you getting a little nervous Sammy? I'm in no hurry to be anywhere, are you?"

"No, just want to stop the babbling. So do you agree to the terms of this fight being between you and me?"

"Sure, wouldn't want those pesky humans getting in our way now would we? Let's begin."

And just like that our deadly dance begins. I step away from him, slowly letting my control slip. I need to be more demon than human in order to win. Hopefully I won't have to completely let go, but if it needs to be done then I will make the sacrifice. Aaron begins to morph in front of me, catching me off guard. He never had a human host; he can change his appearance to fit his surroundings. I shake of the distraction and leap at him, pushing him back with my mind. He pushes right back and our powers counter act each other, forcing us both back. I pull out my knife and crouch down, while his nails extend and sharpen. Advancing at the same time, we both start attacking. We are evenly matched and the look in his eyes shows his excitement. I dig deeper into my mind and try to break through his mental barrier. He growls and hesitates enough for me to stab him in the abdomen with my knife as he howls in pain, I increase the mental attack, but my strength is falling.

I am so focused on the fight that I never noticed him tossing a car my way. It slams into my body, propelling me through the air and cutting my concentration. Within seconds he lodges his nails into both my shoulders and hoists me high in the air. I scream in pain and hear Dean shouting my name, showing is fear through his stuttering voice. I look over to him and see John holding him back while trying to hold back his own emotions. Feeling my body being moved, my focus returns to my enemy. Reaching back to the protruding claws, I grip them and used some of my energy to break them off. Aaron gasps and throws me across the junk yard into something that should not have hurt as bad as it does, unless it was someplace it shouldn't be. The pain in my shoulder is so great that the need to know what's causing it overrides the need to fight. Looking down, I see a metal rod sticking out of my shoulder right under my collar bone. The pain is overwhelming, but it begins to fuel the fire inside my body. Objects begin to fly through the air at my enemy, slamming into him from all angles. Fire swirls around him in a circle, but nothing is working at slowing him down, I'm just not powerful enough. I know what I must do now and it burns at my heart. Looking to Dean, John, and Bobby, I allow the last bit of love flow out of me and into them. A lone tear escapes my eye as I see Dean processing the information found in my expression. He is mouthing no's and trying to get to me, but the fight is making the area dangerous for anyone around us. Closing my eyes, I reach out to Dean. He fights at first but gives in once he hears my soft whispers in his mind. I tell him how much I love him and how deep a brothers bond truly runs. A bond that cannot be broken by anything, not even death. As I tell him these sweet, comforting reassurances, I finally realize the way to save my damned soul. My blood may be tainted with demon blood, but nothing is stronger than the blood bond of a family. _Remember Dean, remember_. Is the last thought I send to him before breaking the connection.

Finally, I let go of everything I've ever loved and needed in my human life, giving into the dark and sinister half of me that has been fighting for control since that faithful day 4 years ago. I feel its happiness at being released. I feel my body leaving my control. I feel the happy memories being locked away far from my reach, and I feel my human side being thrown into a cage to be locked away.

I feel free…

--to be continued

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_I know...Im kinda evil for leaving it at that...but the chapter got long. _

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	8. Chapter 8

_Hey sorry about the late updates...had a little problem with where I wanted this story to go...here ya go guys_

_Review!_

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As the demon inside of me is released, my consciousness is locked up in a deep part of my mind, stuck watching the events play out before me. The real Sam is still present in my body, screaming out for me to stop. But I can't stop anymore; it just feels too good being who I was meant to be. Aaron stands before me laughing and it just fuels the fire that is raging through my veins. I grin at him and grab the rod that is keeping me from the fight and in one swift movement yank it from my body. It surprises me that there is no pain, but I shake my head and throw the rod at the demon as hard as I can. The metal hits him hard in the chest, tossing him back to land on a pile of parts. As he gets up, I move slowly toward him, building up my energy. I notice that flames dance upon my skin, not burning but protecting. Aaron is staring at me trying to use his powers on me, but they don't seem to be working anymore. Closing my eyes I close the distance between us by reappearing right in front of him. Looking deeply into his eyes, I see the reflection of my eyes and it's mesmerizing. Bright swirls of yellow and amber contort in my pupils, power and confidence clearly showing. Power is building within me and I need to find release. I grab Aaron's head and hold on tight as he struggles. The flames from my body lick at his skin causing him to scream and I bend the flames to enter every opening of his body. His eyes burn to nothing, his body heat builds in my hands.

Aaron's screams echo throughout the junkyard and to my mind it's a blissful melody. But to the good Sam inside me, the screams match his pain. While I kill Aaron, at the same time Samuel Winchester is withering away. My powers surge with the sudden take over and finally the son of the Devil is dead by my hand. The flames dancing along my body simmer blue as they slowly go out, Aaron's body falling at my feet. Destruction is all around me, along with the three humans that survived my wrath. Their expressions are the expected shock mixed with disgust and pain. I look down at my body, noticing how clean and virgin the skin is. No scars mark my body and there is a strange strength to the skin. A wicked smile decorates my face and I glance up at the humans. The two older ones hold weapons while the third seems to be thinking. There can be no witnesses to what has occurred here so they must die. I head towards them with thoughts of causing more death running across my mind. The good Sam, although weak, is struggling to prevent what I will do. Growling at his distractions, I gather my powers once again and disarm the three of their weapons. The struggles from Sam increase till he manages to crawl into control.

"Dean…remem…ber…"

Once again he is pushed back to the deepest depths of the minds. The young one in front of me, Dean I'm assuming, looks pained. Before any of them can move I shove the three against the wall of cars and pin them there. Sam starts his fight up again, screaming for his family, for Dean. As I stand here in front of them I get a good look at their faces. Flashbacks start assaulting my senses along with such strong emotions that they weaken me. Dean is talking to me and I try to tune into his voice but good Sam breaks the surface and I struggle to keep control.

"Sammy please come back to me, to us. You can fight this. Its over…you saved us."

The Sam inside me yells with happiness and comes back to the surface, but I fight hard to keep him under the water, trying to drown the humanity that is still left in me. Sam is growing and becoming stronger, the blackened pieces in me still struggling to maintain control.

"Dean, help me. This has to end, I can't hold on forever."

"How Sam? You aren't making sense."

"The blood of a brothers bond is strong Dean. No demon can ever beat that. Weaken it Dean, weaken it."

"How? What do I do after."

"Replace the dark with light. I gave you the means to do the first part. You must figure out how to rid my body of the evil."

"Dean, the colt that Sam left you."

"No Dad! No! Sam you can't be thinking that."

"Yes, that's the first part…arggg…I can't hold on Dean. It knows what is going to happen. You need to do this."

"It will kill you Sam."

"Yes, but only you can bring me back. Remember Dean."

Sam falls back into the mind in weakness. As I rise back to the surface I feel a sharp pain in my chest. Ahead of me is Dean holding the handle of the still smoking colt. A shot to the heart has me shaking and I become angry and throw them across the yard. Electrical bursts are pulsing through my body and I try to collect my powers to kill these insignificant humans but the bullet is weakening me. Another shot rings out and I feel more pain. The sudden attack leaves me trembling and I fall to my knees. My time has run out and I want the good Sam to suffer the consequences of his brother's actions. I slip back and allow Sam to once again rise to the surface. I smile as I, his evil half, falls into the depths, imprisoned permanently in the mind, knowing that not only will I die but so will Sam.

A small laugh escapes Sam's mouth when once again he feels peace and freedom from being in control. Dean is running at him, followed closely by John and Bobby. I'm slipping from the pain and blood loss but it's a peaceful path I'm following. This confuses me, how could the path to hell be peaceful? I know that I am heading to the pit, after everything I did there is nowhere else I should be. Dean falls to his knees in front of me and grabs my shoulders. Giving him a smile, I nod at John and Bobby, quivering in pain and shock as the blood trickles down my chest seeping into my clothes. The fresh air is having trouble oxygenating my lungs as my heart stutters out of rhythm.

"Sam, tell me how to fix you."

"I've told you Dean, our bond can…save me."

"Dean, you and your brother share a bond through the blood of a Winchester."

"Dad give me your knife."

John gave Dean his knife while Dean mumbles about his plan working. I start slipping to the ground, but Bobby's caring hands catch me and help lay me on the ground. As before when I saw my brother and father again after so many years, I feel alive and happy. Now that I know my evil half can no longer surface, where the future takes me is no longer my concern. Whether I die or survive, I can be Sam Winchester once again. All the wrongs have been righted and the two great evils have been extinguished for forever. Distracted in my thoughts, I do not notice Dean cutting his palm with the knife, or the crimson blood dripping down. All I feel is his hand grabbing mine and making the same cut into my palm. Looking into each other's eyes, a strong wind begins to blow and dark clouds gather above us. All at once we grab each other's bleeding hands and fall into each other as an electric shock runs through us. Flashbacks of both of us treading through our hard lives run into my vision. Times when Dean stuck up and defended me from school bullies, walking home with me to our decrepit apartments or stingy motel rooms, helping each other heal after hunts gone wrong and stitching up the wounds both physically and mentally. Holidays along which were spent making me feel normal for a few hours of my life, fights between John and I that were broken up by Dean before things were said that could never be forgotten, Dad dying and leaving us to pick up the pieces to our broken family, and Dean telling me to remember what I was taught right before he was ripped apart by hell hounds, to be forever tortured in hell on my behalf. My eyes shot open noticing we are surrounded by a brilliant light and that time seems to be almost standing still.

Dean and I release from our embrace and look around. The air is still and everything is white. No sound or smells are present and our surroundings are like some void in time.

"Uhh Sam…where are we?"

"I'm not sure. It's almost like some gap in time."

"Well that's just great! Are we dead or something?"

"Not just yet Winchesters."

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_Whatcha think?_


	9. Chapter 9

_Sorry for the late (really late) update...kinda had a mental block on writing. :) But here ya go._

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Dean and I look toward the voice and notice a lone man standing before us. Dressed in a white suit with a black tie, he stands in front of us looking wise and powerful.

"What's going on? Where the hell are we?"

Leave it to Dean to defy someone who is clearly a very large authority figure. The man's ice blue eyes turned to stare at Dean sizing him up.

"You live up to your reputation Dean. Always so straight to the point. I like that, but I don't like your choice of words. We are definitely not in hell. I assure you, you both are quite safe. Sam here can confirm we are not in hell."

I flinch at his words. I never told Dean or my family what happened before I woke up in the hospital. It was something I wanted to keep everyone from knowing. Dean turns to me and silently asks the question I don't want to answer.

"Remember when I was in the hospital after Aaron first showed up. Well I had an enjoyable trip down to hell after dying a couple times. Lets just say I really don't want to go back."

"Why didn't you say anything Sam?"

"It's something I'm ashamed of. The fact that I was down there shows how bad of a person I am."

"Your not bad Sam, just a little sidetracked at the moment."

Dean smiles at me and claps a hand on my shoulder causing me to sigh in relief.

"I wouldn't be so relaxed Winchesters. I may have said you were safe but you are both still here for a reason. Sam there is no doubt that you haven't exactly been a saint recently. I understand that it was the evil that had been forced unto you by Azazel, but that does not make everything better."

"What exactly are you saying?"

"Your future isn't exactly set in stone just yet Samuel. Right now you are in a bit of a pinch. You were set to spend eternity in hell, but recent events have shown you may not be a good candidate for the ole pit. I'm sure you don't want to end up in a place where all the demons you banished currently reside right? So what to do with you, what to do."

He starts walking to me and I'm frozen in place. The man's presence is overwhelming and I feel like a mouse being stalked by a cat. Judgement is present in the iceburg eyes as he stops inches from me. I know what the outcome of this will be. I'm evil and always have been and I know there is no place in heaven for me. I'm going to end up where the hounds can continue his gaze, the man turns to Dean again.

"You Dean have cause this little problem we have here. By merging your blood with your brothers, you have clensed his blood of all evil. Sam is once again pure. So you see, we can't rightfully allow Sam to be taken by the Devil when he is full of good and innocence, but we also cannot just allow him entry into heaven because of what he has done."

"I thought by shooting Sam with the colt then combining our blood he would be healed. My intention was never to kill Sam."

"You still shot him Dean, more than once I may add. Did you think your blood would heal him physically? You don't have super blood, contorary to Winchester beliefs. Our job here is to decide Sam's fate. You just allowed him the chance to be seen and heard before sentencing."

I look at Dean and notice the desperate look on his face. He doesn't like the way the unknown man is talking and neither do I. No matter how this turns out for me, I don't want Dean, John, or Bobby to suffer any concequences. My intentions were to keep them safe and it still is.

"Whatever you have in store for me, leave everyone else out of it. I knew what I was doing and how things would end up. I will accept any punishments delt upon me with no complaint."

"Sam, your self sacrificing got you into this situation. Can you stop throwing yourself into the line of fire for once and just figure this out together?"

"Both of you are going to have to work together anyway so you can stop arguing. There are some pretty large threats out on earth that need to be taken care of. We just don't have enough people, both human and supernatural, to make human kind safe again. So we are assigning you this job both to help us and to allow Sam's fate to be decided. But there is a catch to being sent back."

As the man finished his last sentence my heart dropped in my chest. Why is it that there is always a catch? Dread filled my mind as my stomach turned with the rising suspense. His mouth morphs into an almost sinister grin and I unconsciously hold my breath, waiting for the verdict.

"You will go back not entirely human but as a hybrid to help you win this battle."

"Whoa, nobody said anything about not being human anymore."

"Too bad Dean because that's exactly what is going to happen. We are sending you back as something we like to call the Powers. You won't be a full Power but you will have the powers that are bestowed upon them. Their job is to protect earth and it's inhabitants from demonic forces. Something you both already do but this time is going to be different. You will move faster, be stronger, almost invincible to any physical attacks. On top of that both of you will have your own individual power which you will have to figure out yourselves."

"So we will be sent back to earth to do the same thing we do every day except with a little extra advantage. How is this going to help Sam again?"

"This will be his chance to prove his good intentions and a test to see if he can follow down the path of good. As an angel of darkness he can make up for all past wrong doings and justify his entrance into heaven that we want to grant him. So what will it be boys? We are giving you the choice."

"We will do it."

"Are you sure Sam that this is what you want? Dean, we also need your answer."

I turn to Dean and our eyes meet. I see the reluctance at doing what is being asked of him but I need to do this so desperately that I plead with him silently.

"Well, looks like Sam and me will be these so called Powers."

"Wonderful! We will be sending you back to earth with your new and improved abilities and we will visit from time to time to give you information on who needs to be taken care of. We will be checking up on you so do be on your best behavior. Good luck boys."

With his last words, a bright light blinded me and a burning sensation filled my body, within seconds I was gasping for air. I felt hands on my shoulders lifting me into a sitting position but with my eyes not focusing I couldn't tell who was in front of me. Sounds came back first with my name being called from an unknown source and looking up I finally adjusted enough to realize my dad holding me, calling out for me to respond. I look to my side to see Bobby helping Dean the same way and I sigh with relief.

"Sam! Hey, Sammy say something."

"Dad…Is Dean ok?"

"Yea son he'll be just fine. Come on, let's get you up and into the house."

As John helped me up I glance over at Dean to make sure he was ok. That's when I noticed the man standing in the background smile and disappear. I just hope that Dean and I can fulfill what is expected of us. Once back in the house we all gather in the living room and I fall under the stares of both my dad and Bobby, Bobby being the first to break the silence.

"Alright boys, it's time for an explanation."

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_Let me know what you think :) Review!_


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